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| Why i am crazy? |
| 11.23.07 (7:06 am) [edit] |
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Being emotional really distracts my days. I didn't know why it always triggering me. In fact, I did my best to be calm and hold myself. But when this attitude always comes out, I can't hold it. That's why depressions and loneliness cover me and when I want to give up, my eyes shed tears on my cheeks.
My feelings sometimes very sensitive, though we know a true man don't act like the way I am. That's not true! A real man sometimes shows sensitivity as well as they cry but they don't show it in public unless to the close people or person, I know you know the reason behind of it. When I get hurt, I hold it for a moment. But when I feel it's too much, I didn't talk but I'll just walk out. Just to show them I am mad.
Why I'm so lame?! My mind always playing and flying anywhere. I can't concentrate and focus myself to the things I want to do. I am always mixed with different emotions... I'm happy, sad, mad, cuddly, stupid etc. blah blah blah. It might be the symptoms of going crazy?! Maybe I'm just confused.
I love everybody! Those people who shows true love, true care and true sincerity. But my attention is always focusing to one person.
I have no any idea behind the beautiful pictures of every single day. The feelings of being comfortable sometimes exchange into despair. Doubts and insecurities touch my mind and my heart, the negative sights whirling on my head. The heat of anger and unrecognizable pain grab my soul. The revelation of lies makes me sick. The pretending motivation kills me.
The things between us are getting rough. The pure light turns to gray. The blessed harmony became poisonous and deadly. What now?!
Nobody can cure my wounds but maybe can touch my heart. I lift up to Lord God my corrupted heart and soul. Forgive me for being voracious and my selfishness.I didn't mean to hurt anybody. Instead you blame me, hope you understand me.
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